Archive for August, 2006

the most horrible dream ever

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

I swear it was my Jr. High home-ec classroom, but it was also our home. The freezer was full of ham, bacon, and other pork products, as well as large amounts of candy. Sangeeta wanted to eat the candy but I was arguing that we should wait until Christmas because that’s how we do things in our culture.

Then the dream changed. There was a pretty Russian girl who was naked and rolling around on the ground. She was completely encrusted with dirt and gravel though, so she might as well have been fully clothed. She was doing some erotic dance or something, and then she got up and went over to sit on a nearby log. She lit a match off of a rock on the ground, put the flame up to her mouth, and breathed out orange fire. Then a retarded girl came up to her and she breathed the fire into the retarded girl’s hair, which ignited and burned. The retarded girl just sat there and watched herself be consumed by the flames. It was especially ironic as she calmly watched her eyeballs burn. At the end there was nothing left except charred bone, and the Russian girl complimented her on the wonderful BBQ aroma.

babycare

Wednesday, August 16th, 2006

Having a baby is hard. I don’t just mean giving birth to the baby, I mean keeping the baby alive and comfortable and quiet and happy. It’s not easy work. First off, babies need lots of attention. They sleep a lot, but not necessarily for long periods of time. They have no patience whatsoever, and no empathy or sympathy. But what they lack in maturity they make up for in volume. To all you prospective parents out there, I have this advice: get used to the sound of a baby crying – it’s going to be with you every day of your life for quite a while.

I guess I should get over the generalities and get down to the particulars, huh? Saranya (my daughter) is going to be 3 months old this Friday, and she’s already as big as an average 5 month old baby. She’s a giant! But she sure is cute. Here’s a picture of her at 6 weeks of age:

Saranya Winks