weirdest and most disturbing dream of my life

It started with a phone call from work, late on Sunday night. Phil couldn’t get a web application to work on his new computer. It kept trying to open the web page with a nonexistent application on his Mac. Turns out he had gotten into my source code and installed some abandoned programs that didn’t work and I’d just given up on them, and then tried to run them over the web using Windows ME on his Mac.

But the whole experience was bizarre. On the conference call with Phil and Joel I kept forgetting what I was talking about while I was talking, then I’d stop talking and nobody would talk for half a minute. I would then ask whether or not anyone else felt disjointed and phased out.

Then I met my old friend Travis, who was in the process of moving from just down the street. I met his neighbors, one girl and one guy, while we talked about his plans. Next thing I knew, I was out in front of his old house in my car and the police were there, arresting Travis. He tried climbing out the window but they stuffed him back into the car. Then they took him down the block to what I thought was a rehab clinic. Some lady told me to get the fuck away from the place or I would be next.

Then Travis’ neighbor approached me and told me that she’d been dropping hints like crazy that I shouldn’t get involved in the game. Travis presumably had been involved in the game and had gone astray. I asked wtf she was talking about, and she told me that if you were invited to play the game, and you were chosen, it was like ultimate happiness. But if you played and screwed things up, well, nothing would ever work out for you anymore and your life would end up a disaster in every way. If you chose not to play, you’d just stay oblivious to the whole thing going on all around you, but you wouldn’t ever get the big payoff or pay the big price.

But if you play, she said, things will definitely get weird. She showed me her snake hair and snake fingers. She told me that maybe I didn’t have a choice about playing, and she turned into a walrus with praying mantis wings and tentacles, one of which stung my hand. It hurt like a bitch! I sort of went into a daze.

Next thing I knew, I was transported to a garage and kind of abandoned/imprisoned. A car pulled in next to us, and it contained a man with what appeared to be some kind of pilot’s helmet and mask on his face, with two small children on his lap. The car was a 2-seater sports car type, and the method of transportation (with no child restraint) was definitely illegal. Then I saw the little alien in the passenger seat. He was tiny! Small like a leprechaun, and encased in some kind of a space suit like Darth Vader. He kept repeating a mechanical sounding “Greetings, Earth. We come in peace.” or something to that effect. The driver got out and handed the alien off to a guy on a racing bike, who had a special freezer compartment in the back of the fairing that looked specially built for aliens. The bike left in slow motion.

Then the guy who brought the alien started puttering around the garage, and I noticed he started changing shape. He was muttering about how it was a mystery how some creatures, who were supposedly slaves, could seem to have free will; while others, who were supposedly free, couldn’t will themselves out of a wet paper bag. Slowly I realized he was talking about demons and humans, and that the game was a sort of “deal with the devil” where you’d take on a demon as part of you, and you’d have to do what it told you to do. The “game” part was that the human had to devote his/her will to following the demonic instructions and nothing else.

Then I realized that the tentacle sting I’d received was just such a demonic injection, but my demon wasn’t talking to me yet. I was still dazed, just sitting in the garage. The guy was moving around behind me, and I realized that he was completely a demon.

Another demon came in and they talked about me; asked if I could hear them and understand. I didn’t respond. Then the first one asked me to tell me what I thought of some things. The words he wanted me to talk about were nonsense words as far as I could here, so I tried to repeat them (and failed pretty badly). He told me that he wanted me to play word association with him instead. “Heart attack” – um, call 911? “Fire” – stop, drop, roll, um, water or foam, call 911…? “Electrocution” – wtf?!? Uh, turn off power?

He pointed to a long cable leading to an installed motor and some machinery, where suddenly sparks and soon also smoke began to erupt from the casing. I wandered around ineffectually, looking for the breaker panel, until in apparent disgust he made the whole thing just disappear. I got the impression that my demonic possession had been tested and deemed a failure.

Then I woke up.

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Fuck Off

I quit.

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