Mizblog

1. Avoiding pain above all else is a dead end road that ends in failure (and, of course, pain).
2. Food won’t fix the bad feelings.
3. Change is hard, and it takes time, but it’s the only way things will get better.
4. Money should be a measure of how much you’ve contributed to everyone else’s lives, instead how much you’ve contributed to wealthy people’s lives.
5. My worth as a person is not affected by the casual behavior of strangers.
6. You can tell when a watermelon is ripe by the reduction of contrast between its stripes.
7. The only thing that matters is results.

I wish I had come up with this theory.

Bizarre theory suggests time may be running out

• Blanket.
• Heavy flashlight.
• Hand warmers.
• Six bottles of water.
• Six packs of beef jerky.
• Atlas.
• Reflectors.
• Gloves.
• Socks.
• Bandages.
• Neosporin.
• Benadryl.
• Motrin.
• Hard candy.
• Telescoping magnet.
• Screwdriver.
• Channel-locks.
• Crescent wrench.
• Ski hat.
• Bandanna.

Joel recently sent me a bucket list, which was a series of experiences that he was sent and was supposed to check off the ones he had done. I won’t reproduce it all here, but suffice it to say I found it pointless. Many of the items on the list were things I never want to experience (Be chased up a tree by a rhino) so I guess it’s just a yardstick for measuring your life against the person who made the list.

So I decided to make my own list, and of course the first thing I did was to quickly categorize the experiences. Here are the categories I came up with:

• Creativity and Hobbies
• Athletics
• Linguistics
• Social Activities
• Monument Visits
• Adventures
• Animal Interactions
• Books & Movies
• Education
• Meet Celebrities
• Become a Celebrity By…
• Social Contribution
• Things that require a lot of money
• Family
• Real Estate
• Spirituality
• Survival

I’m going to make my own list rather than see how well I fit someone else’s list.

“I never could get the hang of Thursdays.” — Arthur P. Dent

Does it really take 21 days to create a habit?

I’m cooking chili. Just got a call from my boss, telling me we just got 99.9% certain funding from the US Army for a medical training program. Almost ready to shampoo my living room carpet.

I think I’m finally starting to settle into the single life. It’s been really rough, since I’m used to having my adorable wife and daughter keeping me company all the time, but I’m adaptable and I’m adapting. Sure I’m still lonesome a lot, but I’m having an easier time dealing with it lately. At least until it gets dark and quiet, and the screen savers start showing me slideshows of family pictures…

I really miss my girls.

I have two computers on my desk, and both have screen savers that show slideshows of family pictures. I find myself just sitting and watching pictures from the last 3 years. Some are from the hospital when Saranya was born. Some are from last Christmas. I find myself just sitting in front of the computers, watching pictures go by. While I’m working on one computer, the other one goes idle and starts the slideshow. Then I have to stop what I’m doing to watch, and that lets the other computer go idle and start its own slideshow. It makes it difficult to do anything, and it reminds me how much I love my wife and daughter.

Last night was my first and last D&D night in a very long time. Rob, Greg, and I headed out to Kagel Cyn. to hang out at John’s place and do some gaming. Traffic was awful, so Rob and I had plenty of time to talk on the way out.

At John’s place we got to see all the progress he’s made toward getting the place fixed up. He’s been living there for years, and his family has done a ton of work to take the building from a dilapidated piece of crap to a skeleton with furniture. It’s shaping up to be a really nice place, once they finish installing the fixtures like kitchen countertop and sink. Oh, and stair railings. It made me worry about Saranya falling down stairs, and she’s on the other side of the freakin’ planet.

D&D was fun but I wasn’t very into it. Rob wasn’t either, and he was DM. That lent a “yeah whatever” feel to the happenings. Maybe I’m getting too old for this shit. That’s an unhappy thought.

We got home by midnight. I crashed and got up this morning with the usual sinus congestion, but also with an ugly rotten feeling that I just can’t explain. I think it’s called “depression” and it seems a stretch to tie it to anything that’s going on in my life right now. Sure, my wife and daughter are going to be gone for at least 2 more weeks. Sure I’ve got a project deadline that falls just after they come back. Sure I’ve got an apartment that is not yet halfway cleaned even after 2 solid weeks of daily effort.

Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe all this stuff is just adding up to be overwhelming. Yesterday I felt fine, though. Today I feel like shit. Maybe it’s just one of those things.

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Sangeeta called Wednesday night, and spent the whole time telling me about how big a dirtbag her uncle and his kids are.

Then I was surprised to find that I had slept all night long. Luckily I had already brushed my teeth.

Thursday night – same story. Crashed at 9:30pm and awoke just before 5am. Odd…

I was up until 5am, working and cleaning. Exercising and studying. Packing.

I got the basic multiple choice problem movie working and looking nice. It shows a wrist x-ray and asks you to classify it into one of four categories. After you pick, it tells you if you were accurate or not, and shows the relevant information on the x-ray.

I put all of Saranya’s toys into her crib, since she’s not using any of them this month and I need to get to the carpet to clean it.

My insecticidal rampage continued but at a decreasing rate. I had myself a literal bug hunt.

Having more space around me feels really good. All those toys were making the living room feel very cramped and small. Now it’s a wide open room, and it makes me feel free somehow. Now if only the carpet weren’t so filthy. That’s going to happen this weekend.

I haven’t heard from Sangeeta this week. I hope they’re doing alright. Since Milan left for Subash’s wedding, she probably doesn’t have access to Internet until he gets back. I really miss them. 3 more weeks…

I’m sleeping twice per day. I get an evening nap for 2 or 3 hours, then I work until the sun comes up before sleeping again until late morning. I get tons of work done at night, but very little done during the day.