Mizblog

I’m sick. Again. I’ve got a temperature of 101.3 now and I’m coughing up a storm. My ribs hurt. I’m chilled and sore. I’m going to go lie down and close my eyes and feel the pulsing of blood and pain in my skull, hoping that I can sleep and when I wake up (if I wake up) the cold will be gone.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly. — Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)

This describes my recent work experience. It’s not that it’s all that hard, it’s that I don’t want to do it. :P

It’s Friday!

Sangeeta’s dad has been here for most of the week. He’s really nice and likes to give me advice. He lives in our living room.

Last night was a bad night for SoCal hockey. Ducks lost in OT 3-2 and the Kings lost in regulation 3-2. I got to tell Sangeeta’s dad all about hockey, and he seemed to find it interesting but difficult to follow.

Today I’m in the lab. It’s quiet here. End of quarter and all, you know. I aim to wrap up a big part of the project I’ve been stuck on for the last month or two. It’s really wearing on me, but I need to be disciplined and just knock it out. What a relief it will be to put it behind me!

There’s a weight on my shoulders that won’t lift. There’s a rumbly in my tummy. There’s anger in my heart. I’m going to lunch.

Sangeeta’s father arrived last night at LAX. He had travelled since the previous afternoon, flying from Kathmandu, Nepal. He’ll stay until the new year, returning in the first week of January.

We’ve got a futon set up in the living room for him. It’s not too uncomfortable, I suppose. I hope it doesn’t do him any harm. He seems to be doing alright this morning, at any rate.

Sangeeta and I both have to go to work, so Sarala is going to come and entertain him until she has to go to school. I think. It’s hard to know what she’s going to do, but I think that’s the plan.

I’m up late. I’m tranquil and focused and productive. It’s a very desirable state. I wish I could cultivate this state of being during normal daylight hours. Those always seem filled with haze and pain and sloth.

Today was a very busy day. We got Sangeeta’s car from the shop where we had the roof and trunk painted. The old paint was degenerating like leprosy, and Sangeeta didn’t want to be seen in such an ugly car. Can’t blame her. Ick. We’ve still got to bring it back next Tuesday for a couple hours so they can color sand the new paint and make it shinier.

We also got a new futon pad today. Then we moved our futon into the living room, threw half our sofa into the trash, and put the other half in my fun room. There’s more space in here now, and more space in the living room too. Less sitting space, of course, but that’s to be expected. We had too much anyway.

Sangeeta’s dad is coming here from Nepal on Tuesday 12/6/05. He’s staying for a month, and he’ll spend time with his two daughters and his god-daughter. And probably with me as well. We’ll watch football. :)

Guitar practice has been going pretty well lately. I’ve begun focusing on technique and accuracy again, since I normally don’t. I started practicing with a metronome, starting slow and then advancing two clicks and then backing off one, advancing two, backing off one, until I get tired or can’t play that fast. Some of the single string, single finger exercises I can do 16th notes at 175bpm, but anything that involves more complex fingering drags the speed WAY down. I’m working on pressing more lightly on the strings, since in the past I’ve tended to really clamp down as the speed increased, and I ended up with bruised fingertips. Same story with my typing, I’m afraid.

I find that being around other people too long drains my energy, but that being by myself for too long also drains me. I need to flip back and forth regularly to stay in top form. I also enjoy just walking around in a somewhat crowded environment. School was always good for that. I’d find myself in a trance, walking around and just letting the ambient noise numb my consciousness while I thought about this and that. Mostly about girls, as it turns out, but that’s hardly surprising.

So today I’m at home, working on a project that I detest more and more the longer it goes on. I feel like I’m actually killing myself with dumbness as I do this job. The problem is that I can’t think of anything else I’d rather work on. I think I’m burned out and need to recharge. I feel half dead most of the time, and it’s the dead part that feels better than the part that’s alive.

Sangeeta’s having her car repainted this week, so no car for me until Thursday.

Sangeeta’s father is coming to stay with us next month. If I live through that, I’ll be a very surprised person come next year.

I didn’t sleep well at all last night. I can’t remember any dreams but I do remember Sangeeta waking me up over and over because I was snoring.

So now I’m just sitting here, writing all this shit and wondering what the fuck I’m doing with myself anymore.

She came back yesterday, just 2 hours before my dental appointment. She was all tired and sick, and not happy to be back in LA. Not very fun. :(

It’s starting to get to me, sitting at home all day by myself. Three whole days. Woohoo.

Yesterday I sent Sangeeta off to visit her childhood friend (Mandira) in Concord, New Hampshire. I hope her two week visit returns her safe, happy and relaxed.

Meanwhile I’m in charge of the household. Dishes are already piling up, though I did vacuum my computer room this morning…

Come and play chess with me!

I’ve been playing online chess for the last couple weeks. It’s pretty low pressure (one move per 3 days is the fastest mandatory pace, and some games are slower) and I find my game has improved greatly. Come and try me. ;)